We Will Probably See Ashley Greene's Boobs After All

"Both of them."

So last week a few of us were having a discussion on Twitter as to whether or not Ashley Greene seemed like the kind of girl who would show her boobs in a movie. The general consensus was that yes, she was, and we found it a little weird that she hadn’t (to our knowledge).

(It’s weird that I keep using collective pronouns, it probably sounds like I regard myself royalty. I do not; this blog is not a monarchy. It is not a democracy either, it’s probably more like an oligarchy, except it is those of us who are rich with misdirected creativity who control things.)

There is the question of some leaked pictures of fairly dubious origin, which some of you promised to investigate further, which I was promised was not a euphemism for anything. But it turns out we will probably get some slightly higher quality nudity anyway, as it was recently revealed that Ashley Greene is in talks to star in Scream 4.

Scream 4? Really? When did Scream come out? 1987? It seems a little late to keep this franchise going, doesn’t it? But okay! Ashley Greene is getting work! That's sort of good.

I don’t want to tell Greene how to run her career, but don’t you think she should cool it with the slasher flicks? Summer’s Moon/Blood was not really a horror flick; its director had kind of weird delusions about it being some kind of inversion of a horror film, but mostly it was just nothing. Greene just wrapped shooting a film called The Apparition (there is no way it will still be called The Apparition when it actually comes out, but Draco Malfoy is in it too which is like, what) a few weeks ago.

I guess this can be her niche, but it’s kind of a crappy niche, no? Kristen Stewart wisely chose the indie flick route, and she will be acting in movies until we are all dead. I don’t think you can say that about any of the cast members of the original Scream (The rousing success Cougartown notwithstanding). Neil Young once said it’s better to burn out than to fade away, but I don’t know if that is true with respect to Hollywood, or if Young was being serious anyway.

The point is, there will probably be boobs in this movie. Ashley Greene is reportedly being offered the lead, which actually could mean she'll be playing the virginal survivor, but I don't really think she could sell that, do you? Hayden Panettiere is also in talks to join the cast, so she probably has that market cornered. When is someone in Hollywood going to have the guts to make a slasher film where all the virtuous kids die and the slutty girl lives? Could Scream 4 be that film?