"It's better to burn out than to fade away. Right?"
You guys, my allegiance to Ashley Greene is being tested.
So, as mentioned before, Kristen Stewart is going to be starring in a film adaptation of On The Road. Kind of shockingly, it seems to be really getting made. Adaptations of Jack Kerouac's novel have been kicked around for literally decades, but this one has a start date (August) and everything. And if IMDb is to be believed, it is actually going to be filmed in black & white. For real, IMDb? Don't push all my indie-pleasure-center buttons unless you mean it!
Kristen Stewart, as we have discussed, is making great choices with her career. I'm looking forward to this one, especially. I'm not going to immediately assume that it will suck even if Kristen Dunst is going to be in it too. (This film does not have the same kind of casting pedigree that the recent Howl, whenever that is coming out, has: Mary-Louise Parker, Jon Hamm, David Straithairn. Isn't it weird that the Beat Generation is making a comeback? Between this and Captain America, it's like everything I loved when I was fifteen is going mainstream.)
Ashley Greene, meanwhile is burning her career to the ground.
The 23-year-old star is currently in negotiations to play a high school bad girl in "LOL: Laughing Out Loud" where the [Miley Cyrus] has been slated to take the lead role, The Hollywood Reporter claims.
Without knowing anything else, I'm going to go ahead and say I will not be seeing this movie. That title alone! And it's weird that Greene, who is my age, can play a contemporary of Miley Cyrus, who is admittedly somehow 17 now, but still. I thought I was much older than Miley Cyrus; at some point she seems to have closed the gap.
The story itself will follow a 15-year-old girl who, after dumped by her more sexually experienced boyfriend, sets her sights on his best friend. At the same time, her 40-year-old divorcee mother is struggling to move on with her life. The fraught relationship between mother and daughter provides the film with its narrative backbone, along with the younger generation's obsession with instant messaging.
Even if Greene plays the inevitable "sexually experienced" (should we say SEXTUALLY EXPERIENCED? Because that is what will happen at some point, I can write this movie in my head) girl for whom Cyrus gets dumped, a focus on "the younger generation's (?) obsession with instant messaging" is enough to make me die inside a little.
I think instead of making these sorts of movies for every subset of a generation, we should just re-release Mean Girls into theaters every three years. Because it's not going to get better than that! Just stop it, Disney! Don't bring Ashley Greene down with you! What's next, a film written by Nicholas Sparks? A series of portraits by Thomas Kinkade? Here's the rest of the article or whatever.