Now We Know How Ashley Greene Is Being Punished

I'm thinking for the Jay Leno appearance she should just add some Groucho glasses and be done with it.

So last night, Ashley Greene announced that she had big news on Twitter. Somehow I doubt she was referring to the "lacy bra" photos that blew up my Google Alerts this morning. No, I'm thinking it was probably the story I got from the Twitter account 24/7 Ashley Greene (such a useful resource!) that she will be appearing on the Jay Leno show on June 14th.

My allegiance to Team Coco is being tested. Just kidding, watching Jay Leno is like a waking death. I added Hulu tags like everyone else. I will probably catch a clip of this on YouTube or something, but it will be difficult even then. Cee Lo Green The Soul Machine is the musical guest, which is synergetic and inspired booking (same names, nice work!) at the same time. Have you heard his song on the Eclipse soundtrack, though? It takes a lot of effort to make Cee Lo sound white. It's a good song, it just sounds like he and Vampire Weekend pulled a Freaky Friday or something.

I hope you guys caught that the next day, Greene's nemesis and mine, Emma fucking Roberts, will be appearing. That's kind of weird, isn't it? Or is it just too hard to get self-respecting adults to come talk to Jay Leno now? Obviously Greene (and Tuesday's guest, a certain man with a name that rhymes with BOBERT GATTINBON) are contractually obligated for this shit, and ordinarily Ashley Greene wouldn't throw a drink on Jay Leno if he was on fire. I have to believe that in order to go on living. (We know why Ashley Greene is being punished, but what did Robert Pattinson do to deserve this?)

Did you see Wednesday's guest? Rob Schneider. With no second guest! Clear the schedule for Rob Schneider! He needs the full hour, obviously. Oy, Jay Leno. Anyway, here's a picture of Ashley Greene at Disneyland (huh?) to cheer you up.