"Peace the fuck out, Wes Craven."
MTV is reporting that Ashley Greene's breasts might be getting replaced by someone called Emma Roberts in Scream 4. Now, I don't know who Emma Roberts is. I only know that she was in Hotel For Dogs and also she is related to Julia Roberts. And most importantly, she is opposed to going topless. Now, this is from a source called RealBollywood, and also the article appears to have a picture of Emma Watson on it, but we should take it for gospel, because how do you make this stuff up?
"I would show my back and my butt on camera but I would never go topless. Going topless is so tasteless, and I prefer to leave all that stuff to people’s imagination."
I mean, that second part is kind of true, but then why are you okay with showing your ass? People can imagine breasts but not butts? (Butt is such a dumb word I can't help but giggle even typing it.) Also, are there any actors out there who won't show their backs? The point is, she is clearly not qualified to replace Ashley Greene. Greene, to be fair, also sort of once told MTV that she wouldn't do nudity unless she really identified with the character, but that is basically code for "I will take off my clothes as soon as anyone asks me." Does she not "really identify" with Alice Cullen? That is a great gotcha question, isn't it? Perez, are you reading this?
Scream 4, which is also known as Scre4m, apparently (cute), needs Ashley Greene. There is almost no reason for this movie to exist, and without her in it there is no reason at all for it to exist. Hollywood must know this. I don't want to hear about Emma Roberts ever again. She can be in Hotel For Dogs 2: All Dogs Go The The Hotel California, I suppose.
6 comments:
I thought Emma Roberts was only like 12 or something. What is she doing in Scream? Shouldn't she be Disney Channel-ing it up?
Emma Roberts played in a show Unfabulous on Nickelodeon a few years ago. I'm not opposed to her being on the enemies list.
Jessica Alba said on the Tyra show that she wouldn't show any of her body in movies and that she always uses body doubles. In the movie The Eye, she used a body double for like two inches of stomach, no joke.
This is going to sound really lesbianic, but it's not. I just really think that Ashley Greene is the kind of person who would be hot while being tortured or in any kind of pain. Emma Roberts will just look stupid.
This is going to sound really misogynistic, but it's not. I agree with you, Bridget.
And w/r/t Jessica Alba, at least she is consistent! I don't think anyone should have to do nudity (I'm saying this in part to atone for like, three super-lecherous posts in a row, but it's also true) but I also think people shouldn't disrespect people who have slightly looser sexual mores. America is too much this way in general. We love our movies ultraviolent and with no sex whatsoever. I like violence enough, but I also don't understand the fear of sex. This is especially relevant when we talk about Twilight, and probably warrants further discussion. But Emma Roberts signing up for Scre4m and voicing her distaste for nudity at the same time is reflective of that, coupled with the internal breasts/butt contradiction, sort of holds all of those problems in synecdoche.
it's fucking lame that any female actor needs to justify their preference/dis-preference for nudity in the first place. no one is calling ewan macgregor trashy for being a total sausage-flasher all the time. if only ladies could avoid that kind of invasive discussion about a subject that is no one's business but their own, you know?
"i'm fine showing my boobs because it's my body so shut up."
"i prefer to not show my boobs because it's my body so shut up."
DONE.
emma roberts needs to have a long, careful talk with a group of friendly, but firm, feminists, to help her understand how she is undermining her own sexual freedom by vocally judging other women's decisions about their sexuality.
zac, your point about the weird american double standard re: extreme violence and sex is a good one, and i hadn't thought about it in regards to twilight, but it definitely seems applicable. that would be a good topic for a roundtable discussion.
another solid gold point. that's why you're the blog runner, man.
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