Thursday, August 26, 2010

Kristen Stewart Is Totes Lime Green Jell-O Of Ashley Greene (WORDPLAY)


The Woodward & Bernsteins over at ShowbizSpy have a real scoop this morning: Kristen Stewart is maybe possibly jealous of all the love Ashley Greene is getting from, well, everyone. This is via Entertainmentwise.com:

Kristen Stewart who plays Bella is reportedly fuming over the praise that Ashley Greene who plays Alice, has been getting during promotional tours.

First of all, that is some interesting comma use! Second of all, "Reportedly Fuming" is the name of my next LP (to be released in 1996). Now I think this blog has been fair, if not balanced, in our coverage of Kristen Stewart and Ashley Greene. Both or them are beautiful movie stars even by impossible Hollywood standards of beauty. Ashley Greene, who appears to lie compulsively about her educational history and is possibly now entered into some kind of deliberate career-boosting sham relationship with Joe Jonas, is a more compelling gossip figure. One can only read so many articles about Kristen Stewart wearing a hoodie and giving someone the finger before one tires of writing about it. And I'm pretty sure both of those facts are the result of deliberate behavior on both of their parts! So. Here's the quote they got, from "a source" (very reliable-sounding):

“Kristen always gets a much harder time. It hurt her feelings. Ashley even won the Scene Stealer award at the Teen Choice Awards.”

Second of all, this is bullshit anyway, but Kristen Stewart could definitely give a fuck that Ashley Greene won "Best Scene Stealer" at the Teen Choice Awards. What, is she going to steal the scene from herself? Bitch knows who the franchise is, and she's got the unbelievable paycheck to prove it.

Plus, have you checked the twitters lately? The tweens are mad at Ashley Greene now! They are so mad, even the tween's moms are mad now. I'm pretty sure the PR well is drying up for AG anyway. Banging a Jonas Brother (or maybe not): the great equalizer.

4 comments:

rosanne said...

I'm sure Kristen Stewart could give a fuck about Ashley's rise to fame. I bet she's relieved.

I always think, whenever I see Taylor Lautner winning out over Robert Pattinson in a hotness poll or whatever, that Robert Pattinson is somewhere rejoicing.

ZL said...

Also: "rise to fame"? I'm not picking on your use of the term, I'm saying, why is anyone using the term/sentiment. How did it even happen, or did it? I mean, how long ago was New Moon? Why is Ashley Greene getting famous now?

ZL said...

Says the guy with the Ashley Greene avatar.

rosanne said...

Did I make that up or was it in the story? How should I know why she is getting famous now? It's probably your fault. Or a concerted plot created by her and her "team."