So I've been sort of busy (I mean, I don't really get that busy really ever) and I am still working on the next Eclipse post. With any luck it will be up tomorrow. But in the meantime, here is a fan fiction I was writing last week that I forgot about and never finished. It was based on the awesome rumors we were hearing that Miley Cyrus was not allowed to spend time with Ashley Greene, who was deemed a bad influence by Miley's handlers. Said rumors have since been denied. Oh well.Previously: Blogging Eclipse pt. 6: Plane Crash In C
“Ashley Greene murders Miley Cyrus's Dog”
Miley Cyrus was enjoying a quiet moment between takes on the set of her latest film when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned. It was Ashley Greene.
“Hey,” Ashley Greene hissed, peering with bloodshot eyes from behind her oversized sunglasses. “You're Hannah Montana, right?”
“No, I'm Miley. Ashley, we met like, weeks ago. I told you then, my name isn't really Hannah.”
“Right. Fuck. Whatever.” Ashley stood there silently for a while, then lit a cigarette. A man passed, carrying an official looking folder, wearing a headset.
“Oh, Ms. Greene, I didn't see you there! Your publicist asked me to – GAH!”
Miley gasped in shock as the man fell to the ground holding his face. Ashley Greene had put her cigarette out in his eye. She turned indifferently back to Miley.
“Want to go do some drugs?” She asked.
“What?” Miley Cyrus looked again at her co-star in shock. “Of course not. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you.”
“And why is that?”
“Because my handlers say you're a bad influence.”
“Oh, your handlers are stupid. C'mon let's go shoplift or something! I'm bored.”
“I'm supposed to be in this scene.”
“Listen, I know you are new to the movies Hannah, but I was in Twilight or whatever it's called. You know how long we were shooting? 2 years.”
“I don't think that's true...”
“And I only spent like, 2 days actually on the set. Most of this is bullshit.”
“I really think I should stay.”
“Am I going to have to cut a bitch?” Ashley Greene said suddenly.
“No, please!” Miley held up her hands in surrender. “I'll go, I'll go.”
Ashley Greene led the way into her trailer, which looked normal enough from the outside.
“Ashley Greene murders Miley Cyrus's Dog”
Miley Cyrus was enjoying a quiet moment between takes on the set of her latest film when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned. It was Ashley Greene.
“Hey,” Ashley Greene hissed, peering with bloodshot eyes from behind her oversized sunglasses. “You're Hannah Montana, right?”
“No, I'm Miley. Ashley, we met like, weeks ago. I told you then, my name isn't really Hannah.”
“Right. Fuck. Whatever.” Ashley stood there silently for a while, then lit a cigarette. A man passed, carrying an official looking folder, wearing a headset.
“Oh, Ms. Greene, I didn't see you there! Your publicist asked me to – GAH!”
Miley gasped in shock as the man fell to the ground holding his face. Ashley Greene had put her cigarette out in his eye. She turned indifferently back to Miley.
“Want to go do some drugs?” She asked.
“What?” Miley Cyrus looked again at her co-star in shock. “Of course not. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you.”
“And why is that?”
“Because my handlers say you're a bad influence.”
“Oh, your handlers are stupid. C'mon let's go shoplift or something! I'm bored.”
“I'm supposed to be in this scene.”
“Listen, I know you are new to the movies Hannah, but I was in Twilight or whatever it's called. You know how long we were shooting? 2 years.”
“I don't think that's true...”
“And I only spent like, 2 days actually on the set. Most of this is bullshit.”
“I really think I should stay.”
“Am I going to have to cut a bitch?” Ashley Greene said suddenly.
“No, please!” Miley held up her hands in surrender. “I'll go, I'll go.”
Ashley Greene led the way into her trailer, which looked normal enough from the outside.
And then it was going to turn out that Ashley Greene's trailer was this Dextered-out, plastic-covered kill room, and Miley's dog was going to be there, and Ashley Greene was going to kill it and successfully summon Satan to the set of LOL. But you probably could have guessed as much.
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