Twilight Gossip Roundup: Risky Business

Let's say you're a Twilight gossip columnist. All of the principal actors are headed to Baton Rouge where they will be shooting Breaking Dawn parts 1 and 2 for apparently the next few years. Sure, occasionally Ashley Greene will go out to dinner, but for the most part these guys are going to be screwing and doing blow in their trailers, out of the view of the telephoto lenses. What do you write about? WHAT DO YOU WRITE ABOUT? Apparently just about anything.

Did you know Robert Pattinson wanted to be a rapper? He apparently said recently that he wanted to be a rapper. If I had to guess, I would guess that he was not being particularly serious about that. But E! took him very seriously! (If I want to end with an exclamation point I have to structure my sentences very carefully when I talk about "E!"!) They wrote a whole article about what was probably a throwaway joke in an interview, and they are getting savaged in the comments NOT because I mean literally, why on earth would you write a whole article about that, but rather because this is supposedly "old news." That it was apparently news at all, ever, is kind of upsetting to me.

One of the weirder recent trends in movie promotion as of late has been the on-line release of "first stills" from upcoming films. I covered the "first stills" from The Appartion because, well, you know, it was Ashley Greene in her underwear. But why would we want to look at still frames from a movie we know nothing about if they don't feature Ashley Greene in her underwear? Trailers, I get. This, not so much. But if for some reason you want to look at vague stills from upcoming movies that don't feature Ashley Greene in her underwear (that I know of), Movieline has a shot from the upcoming Robert Pattinson flick Bel Ami. In it, Uma Thurman stands over a kneeling Pattinson. So at some point in this movie, he is going to kneel and she is going to stand. I'm looking forward to it!

Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene might be moving in together, but Joe is basically going to be kicking around Ashley's apartment by himself for the next few months. There's going to be a lot of this:

Except Joe will be wearing Ashley's clothes. You are welcome for that image.

Taylor Lautner has just signed on to a film called Incarceron which seems designed to trick your grandparents into thinking they're seeing that movie about the dreams with the guy from Titanic you raved to them about. The premise sounds very premise-y! Via The Deadbolt:

Taylor Lautner will play the character of Finn who has lived his whole life on Incarceron, a prison society set in the future where he meets the warden's daughter and devise a plan to escape together.

When I read the last half of that sentence I felt like I was getting incepted. My projections started to notice that something was off. He lives on a prison society that devises a plan to escape from the warden's daughter? Did I get that right?

Previously: Breaking Dawn, Chapter 2