But whatever, our girl looks good!
There was a minor controversy, caught by the great 247Greene, when the friend I singled out on Friday posted a negative tweet about Pure Nightclub and Caesar's Palace and then deleted it, only to later post this:
Trouble in corporate-sponsored paradise? We'll see! I'll update this post when (and if) there is more to report.
The girl at the top right is @AndreaKelley, who tweeted that she hates Pure nightclub. She does not look particularly psyched right then.
I don't know what this is, but I like it. My guess is that Ashley Greene is doing her best imitation of Thom Yorke in the "Lotus Flower" video.
UPDATE 2:35pm: So you're probably thinking when is Zac going to post some pictures of Ashley Greene looking mega drunk? The answer is 2:35pm! It looks like it wasn't a bad party after all, despite the weird "sexualized children" imagery and the corporate sponsorship!
UPDATE 3:00pm: We've got some blind quotes about the party! Look how heterosexual Joe Jonas sounds! "She was all over him on the dance floor," one person says. "I think I saw Joe slyly slip his hand up her skirt." Oh my! "They were so close on the dance floor. At one point, Ashley was dancing up and down his body while he was holding her hips biting his lip." Dancing up and down his body! Lip biting! Obviously by opening the party up to the public, the Ashley Greene team at Angel Management and Fiji Water or whatever were hoping this kind of thing would happen, but where are the really crazy stories? Where's "Ashley fucked him right there in front of everybody!" You have to take all of these and divide them by half to get at the truth. Maybe she danced up his body, but certainly not back down. If he slipped his hand up her skirt, it was up the back.
Finally there is a wonderfully insinuating write-up of the party over at the Daily Mail. The message between the lines is the Jonases are a wonderful religious family and Ashley is a walking virginity destroying machine. I'm not saying there are wrong about that, I'm just saying the article screams with the judgement of the (presumably) puritanical author.
She left her auburn brown hair down, opting for minimal make-up, while her 21-year-old Jonas Brothers beau wore a black jacket over a grey T-shirt and jeans.
However, the singer appeared to be without his purity ring, which he and his brothers have worn to symbolise their commitment to no sex before marriage.
The Jonas boys are the sons of a former Assemblies Of God pastor and are committed Evangelical Christians.
Meanwhile, Ashley was treated to bowls of candy and an ice-cream cone castle cake for her special occasion.
She later received a giant swirled lollipop all for her own, which she carried around with her in the nightclub.
I really love the "meanwhile." The article goes on to note that they moved in together after "six short months of dating" and references Kevin Jonas's wife, a former hairdresser. I'm not sure if they are mocking Jashley for being mutual starfuckers, mocking Danielle Jonas for being a hairdresser, or both. Somehow Brits can pull off that 360-degree condescension better than we can.