Update On The Doppelganger Wars

Janet Montgomery, otherwise known as the British Ashley Greene, otherwise known as the Less Bigoted Ashley Greene, otherwise known as the More Successful Ashley Greene, is being stripped of one of her titles. Made In Jersey, a show with a name we'd consider terrible if not for the knowledge that it was once called Baby Big Shot, has been cancelled by CBS. It is the first death of the new fall season. Sharp eyed readers will recall that Ashley Greene had a D.O.A. pilot this summer, and the fact that Montgomery's went forward while Greene's did not was Montgomery's only real claim to the "More Successful" title. After all: a memorable turn on Skins (in an episode we haven't gotten to yet--fuck, sorry) is roughly equivalent to a memorable turn in New Moon (let's face it--the only Twilight film in which Greene, and the character of Alice, and female homoerotic tension, make a significant impact). A minor part in Our Idiot Brother is equivalent to a minor part in Butter (which, theoretically, is in theaters right now). It is with regret that we strip Montgomery of her titles, with compounded regret that the act of stripping something off of her would bring anything but joy. It is a cruel, cold world. Somewhere, at a Chick-Fil-A right now, Ashley Greene is basking in the chill.