Elsewhere, The Apparition is, inexplicably, coming out this weekend, and you should obviously not see it. In part because Ashley Greene supports Chick Fil A, and in part because it is apparently 82 minutes long. Eighty-two minutes? You expect us to pay 14 bucks for that? Fuck off with your 82 minutes. (Especially since--didn't they do a bunch of reshoots?) I won't pay for a ticket to see anything under 90 minutes** unless it is stop-motion or directed by Shane Carruth (OR BOTH!). Most TV shows are longer than that these days, fuckers! What are you doing here, Ashley Greene? Don't answer that; you're re-shunned.
*More: isn't Ty Burrell playing her dad? So like, she bangs her dad's girlfriend? That's weird, right? I'm just trying to figure out if the incestual thing throws the progressivism from the train.
**This rule doesn't exactly square with my rule about music: that the best songs are either under two minutes or over six minutes, always. But unless you're buying the songs individually on iTunes the economic impact is way way mitigated.